Don't you just love when your garden erupts in a technicolour spectacle with the gusto of a post-lockdown Pride parade? Those hardy lovelies, the perennials, are the rockstars here. Sure, they might be divas demanding all the right conditions: the perfect pH, the Goldilocks amount of hydration, bi-annual snips and trims. But your sweat and aching back will feel like cheap dues for the spectacular bloom fest they'll reward you with. Here's the kicker: they come back, year after insubordinate year. They stick around longer than your failed fad diets and cheat-day justifications.

Peonies, those fragrant, fluffy divas that take forever to set roots, but bloom so captivatingly, you'll forget your no-carb, no-fun diet ever existed. Find the perfect spot, because these beauties are a bit like your great aunt Edna - plant them, and they ain't ever moving again. They'll need hydration but they have a Goldilocks complex - too much water and their roots are toast. Props are a peony's best friend, well, second only to you, their gardener and number one fan.

Foxgloves, yup, they need hand-holding too. Their tall spikes of bell-shaped flowers may turn heads, but they'll crumble faster than your resolve around a chocolate fudge sundae without a stake to lean on. Biennial is the fitness level these plants are aiming for. They're here for a good time, not a long time. Yet, they never fail to paint your garden with a vibrant floral spectacle that might just distract you from your calorie counter.

Let's talk about Daylilies, the CrossFit enthusiasts of the garden world, resilient and determined. These vibrant renegades bounce back better than your post-cookie guilt, and still bring the party next season. They too need their space, a soccer field's distance from each other, so they don't brawl in a primal fight for light and nutrients.

Astilbes, those feathery floofs that shimmer in pink, red, purple, and white. They're worth every bead of sweat you break watering them in July's scorching heat. They're like your annoyingly attractive neighbor; they steal all the attention in your shady garden beds.

And what about Clematis, that stunning climber that's always reaching for the stars or the trellis you installed? This beauty needs a bit of extra TLC and protection from that rowdy wind frat boy and his lively friend, heavy rain.

We can’t forget Lupines, with their tall, vibrant stalks reminding you of the posture you should have had doing those deceased lifts. They too are particular about their water and staking needs, but does anything in this world worth its salt lack a sliver of high maintenance?

Let's not ignore the dramatic flair of the Bleeding Heart, with its heart-shaped flowers swaying in the breeze like pendants on a diva's necklace. Sensitive to scorching sun and drying out, this perennial is not unlike your motivation to hit the gym after a night out.

Then there's that unassuming rockstar, Sedum (Autumn Joy flavor, if you're asking). A hardy champ that'll give you a fiery bloom show right when your summer tan starts to fade.

Remember Shasta Daisies? Who could forget them? They’re the garden version of the girl next door: pretty, cheerful, easygoing but won't tolerate being flooded (a bit like your last date).

And your garden needs the Coneflowers, hardy beings who fight tougher than a desert cactus, but need just the right amount of H2O and sun. Their pollinators – bees and butterflies – act like the gym buffs, flexing and buzzing around the pretty purple, pink, and white petals.

Japanese Irises with their Instagram-worthy blooms demand your attention and care, but aren't they worth every drop of water they guzzle?

Coral Bells, another shade lover, do a fantastic job spicing up your garden with a color palette more vibrant than your post-workout smoothie.

And finally, meet Russian Sage. Tolerant, tall, and brooding, it’s the heartthrob of your xeriscaping efforts. Sure, it might need a little support (don't we all), but that's a small price to pay for its late summer showstopper blooms.

So, buckle up, green thumbs. This garden gold is up for grabs, and we're your enablers, chronicling the kale-esque rollercoaster ride of perennial gardening.