Imagine being allergic to something that covers around 71% of the Earth's surface and is integral to nearly every biological process. Welcome to the bizarre and incredibly rare world of aquagenic urticaria - or in blunt terms, being allergic to water.

This condition isn't your standard allergic response. It's more akin to a hypersensitivity episode, where water buddies up with certain skin proteins, activating an abnormal immune reaction. The result? A painful smorgasbord of red, itchy hives, which tend to pop up 20 to 30 minutes post water contact and can linger for a few hours.

Potential culprits of aquagenic urticaria may have a genetic predisposition, with symptoms typically rearing their ugly heads during adolescence or early adulthood. The condition doesn’t discriminate, affecting both genders equally.

But hives aren’t the only party crasher here. Other symptoms ranging from wheezing to shortness of breath could throw a wrench into your plans, especially if those plans include swimming, showering, or just stepping out into a light drizzle. Even sweating or crying can call the beasts from the deep.

If you suspect you are more than just a water-hater, don’t worry, science got your back. An allergist or dermatologist will generally conduct a water challenge test. As fun as it sounds, it basically involves observing skin reactions to water contract. If hives emerge on the site, congratulations, you've got a ticket to the aquagenic urticaria club.

And the 'No Water' rule? Hah, we wish! That's not an option, but modern medicine provides some hacks to help manage your day-to-day aquatic encounters. From tweaking showering habits to sporting waterproof gear during rains and medicating, there are ways to make this condition less of a pain in your dermatological backside.

It's important to bear in mind that water is not the Matrix’s Agent Smith level adversary for most people out there. So far, there are fewer than 100 cases reported globally. So, if you're breaking out in hives after a shower, don't jump to 'water allergy' immediately – a consultation with a healthcare provider should be your first step.

In the end, life with aquagenic urticaria might seem like navigating an obstacle course, one where turning a blind eye to water is an impossibility rather than a choice. Yet, with a sharp strategy, a good sense of humor, and a trusted health team, it doesn’t have to make you feel like a fish out of the water.