Ever observed an adorable puppy chasing its tail? Cute, right? Yet hopeless. As it happens, that’s how most of us approach weight loss and muscle-building -- a never-ending loop of fad diets and intense workouts, getting us nowhere. Here’s some tough love for you: losing weight ain't gonna give you those bulging biceps or killer quads. You know what will? Listening to science. So shut down that weight loss app, stop worrying about shedding pounds, and focus on building muscle instead.

Befuddled about where to start? Proteins, my friend. Not the shady, over-priced supplements, but the real deal from your diet. Picture this: Strength-training athletes need 0.77g of protein per pound of their body weight every day, says a meta-analysis published in Frontiers in Nutrition. To translate: If you weigh 150 lbs, you need approximately 115g of protein daily.

And what does your protein-rich platter look like? Some lean chicken or turkey, perhaps? Or an earthy bowl of beans? Congratulations, you're on the right track already! Not a fan of four-square meals? Welcome to the club. Skipping meals isn’t chic anymore, eating every few hours is. Did we mention protein shake post-workout? So very rockstar!

"But wait, what about calories?" You might ask. We haven’t forgotten. The thing is, If you’re obsessively burning more calories than you consume, you're probably losing weight, not building muscle. Sure, operating on a calorie deficit might make your scales happy, but if it's those mean muscles you're after, you need to rethink your strategy. Want to calculate how many calories you need to consume? Don’t ask Siri, ask a freaking doctor or a registered dietitian.

"Okay, Doc. I have the diet covered. Now how do I start lifting?” We thought you’d never ask. If you're a newbie to weight training, consider cozying up with a trainer first. They’ll ensure you're flexing the right muscles without paying a visit to the ER. And of course, don’t forget to leave room for some recovery days.

On Day 1 focus on your chest and back, on Day 2 it’s all about legs and abs, and Day 3 is your chance to flaunt those arms and shoulders. And might we suggest mixing in some cardio, you know, to keep things exciting?

Can’t wait to see the result? Well, join the queue. It's going to take a while (think weeks not days) for the magic to happen. And don’t just use scales to measure results. Use your measuring tape to track the changes in your body size, and let your mirror do the talking. Remember, perseverance is the key.

But, before you rush off to start pumping iron, consult your doctor. If at any point during your workout you feel like you're about to drop dead, for God's sake, don’t endorse the 'Die Trying' part of our mantra. Take a breather. Remember, you're here for the 'Eat Kale' part. Now go fetch those protein shakes!